I Have No Idea What I'm Doing.

Rock For Health at MySpace . this is their most updated site, rockforhealth.org is kind of outdated, but is the best resource for finding out what exactly it is that the organization does. basically, its a non-profit started by this gal, Kristina Grossmann (the college bff of one of my really great old friends!!!) that is dedicated to bringing affordable health care options and solutions to touring musicians, who often live their high-risk lifestyles sans health insurance. 96% of musicians dont have health care coverage, and RFH is here to help; by working with Medilinq.com, for $40/month, a band and crew up to 15 members can receive 80% off of health care and medical procedures. even if that $40/month is only covering 5 members of a band, thats $8/month, meaning that each member can receive health insurance for a mere $76/YEAR. THATS UNHEARD OF. shit, i want health insurance thru RFH, geez... anyway, its an amazing organization that i'm basically doing everything in my power to s...

I have saved enough money to pay off my plane ticket to Cali! woo!

like dog shit.

so i spent the weekend at michelle's. it was fabulous, i miss the shit outta my bffgirlfriend. here, look at some photos. january 16th: that's gobe. he's siren and lo's brother. he's also about the size of both of them put together. he looks like a alien. january 18th: AUSTRALIA'S FAVORITE COOKIE!!! i've been wanting these since '03. Target in Medford...who knew? when michelle moved into the new apartment, her landlady gave her a gift...it's a banana hammock. commence the giggles. she didn't have bananas, so she threw some grapefruits in it...commence more giggles. this is where michelle spends most of her time in her little apartment. it's cozy. i likes it :) ::le sigh:: what a bleh day. i had such a good weekend though. trying to ride that high through this minor period of bumout...should shake it in a little while.

michelle, sam, and i all suprisingly went to the same City & Colour show last minute. i hadnt seen michelle since AUGUST. thats fucked up. it was amazing. the three of us havent hung out since last year. michelle and i look totally different from then. before: after: ha. weird! love them. photo of the day for january 13th: jenna watching the new Dane Cook Rough Around The Edges standup that i DVR'd. and siren, hangin on the bed. and my GIANT iMax computer glowing in the background. mm, its home :) and today's photo of the day (i guess i dont have one for yesterday, shame): my new desktop at TAG! space cupcake, pew! pewpew! pew! hehe :)

of rollercoaster confidence. the only thing i have to cling to is music. i guess that's not so bad.

i's goin' back to Cali, hollerrr! may23-june7. omg so stoked. booked the flight already and everything. whee! i'mma spend most of my time in that little grey blob called "Los Angeles". perhaps you've heard of it.

ok so i've definitely sucked at doing the Photo of the Day quite as diligently as i had wanted to, and its only 13 days into the new year. oh well. let's just go ahead and say that the way a woman treats her blog is not to determine the way she conducts herself in real life, k? I DO NOT HAVE COMMITMENT PROBLEMS! yes i do. but anyway, its mostly just me being lazy. i'll upload fun photos later when i'm more motivated. right now...i just don't feel like it ha.

guess its workin'! pic of the day :) i love photobooth, but not the fact that it was so cold in my apt today that i had to put on a hat and a few layers!!!

last night i went up to White Plains during a blizzard to babysit for one of TAG's agents' one and a half year old son. photo of the day for january 10th: maxin' and relaxin' with baby jake while we watched Go, Diego, Go! or Dora the Explorer (his two faves). and some other pics from the evening: got paid pretty handsomely, i'd say. only shitty part of the evening was went i went to go use my laptop only to find it was completely dead. zero life. i have no idea what happened...meh.

so awhile ago my dad made me watch this dvd called The Secret . you know, like the book, The Secret . it was done documentary style, like something you might come across on the History Channel (a channel i rather enjoy because i, as you may already know, am a nerd), so it really appealed to me. and you may also know that, while mostly pretty down to earth, i'm also pretty spiritual and New Age-y, probably under the influence of my pretty spiritual, New Age-y dad (the legendary Neil Rosenthal). anyway, so he made me watch this dvd because i was toootally stressin' about money, as i have done for all the years i've lived in NYC, and he was like "listen, it might seem a little weird and silly, but watch this and just pay close attention." well, i did watch it (until i dozed off at the end, i was apparently very sleepy and my parents' couch is extremely comfortable) and i didn't think it was weird or silly. ok maybe a little weird but not bad weird, just...spi...

photo of the day. me in a red hat. it was a red hat day.

do you ever do that thing where you start going over, in your head, a conversation (or a number of conversations) you've had with someone and suddenly realize that you may have said some things that probably made you look like a giant ass? yeah, i'm doing that. i do that a lot, in fact. and you know, i'm going over these things i said, and even as i said them i remembering thinking to myself "STOP TALKING!" and just wanting to crawl under the car seat i was sitting in. why do i have verbal diarrhea? seriously? like, who lets me talk? who allows me to think for myself and open my mouth and have conversations without screening me first? i could save myself a lot of grief if i could use a script or if it wasn't completely socially awkward to take a whole five minutes to think about what i wanted to say before i said it. i know negativity and doubt never got anyone anywhere, but i seriously sometimes question how anyone could ever be attracted to me as a person on...

jenna! at the new BK Industries MEGA SALE, looking pretty adorable in a ridiculous ruffly polka dotted stripey sweater shirt. she's the cutest.

january: stay busy and distracted. don't text him. just don't. don't do it. leave him alone. i dare me. ha! work it out!!! hit the gym, fatass. no pizza! FOR A MONTH! i might pass out. omg. i just decided this one right now on the spot, i don't think i like it...fuck. now i really have to do it. yoga! dvds are being redelivered tomorrow, sweeet! sara and i are gonna have yoga parties, get stoked. save money, woot! i wanna have enough money for a plane ticket to somewhere by the end of the month. i'm totally halfway there. i can do it. get ready, elsewhere! i'm comin' for ya! whee! k i think that's it for now. short term goal: put on pants. aaand, go.

if you're into effed up cartoons Adult Swim style, i recommend Xavier: Renegade Angel . shit is bananas. do it, i dare you. WHEW i'm exhaustipated! first day back at TAG, next two days off. went to the gym after work though, woot! and my boots came, woot! so did my yoga DVDs, but they need to be redelivered...ONLYYY for some reason, usps.com is telling me that they cant redeliver until june 1st? which is ridiculous. good thing i have nothing to do tomorrow because it looks like i'll be making a little jaunt to the post office. fuckers...anyway, heres the picture of the day: that would be siren in the box my boots came in. ha, cats are silly.

january 2nd: vin playing pool at the epic cabinmansion in Redding. i just really like the lines of this photo, and vin looks like a cutie as always. january 3rd: morning after the party at the cabinmansion. SO cold, but so beautiful. the property was enormous. lovely to wake up to. this is only a small fraction of the place. i like the arch :) today (though this may change later if i take a better photo): epic spider bites from the epic party at the cabinmansion. my arm is actually swollen in profile. not cute.

is the ending guitar riff of Misery Signals' Five Years. something about it feels like home. here, go listen to it if you're feeling ambitious. if you love it, buy this record: ok so i need to catch up on my Pic of the Day! good thing i'm not leaving the apartment today, so i can take my sweet time figuring out what they are for Jan. 2nd, 3rd, and 4th (which would be today). and in the mean time, i'm going to get dressed because i just got outta the shower, so please hold...

pic of the day: the kitties partied too hard. BEST BIRTHDAY EVER! thank you Fuck City.