I Have No Idea What I'm Doing.

i've been trying to figure out how i want to make a new "website" for my photography. i've been using livebooks.edu for awhile but my subscription is up and i'm just not sure if i want to pay to renew it. i was thinking maybe, because i'm not exactly trying to market myself as a superprofessional photog or anything, that i could just start a photo blog. i could display my old photographs, and then easily update with new photographs. but should i get a flickr too? i kinda hate flickr. i feel like there needs to be some site where i can easily display my photographs in a larger format...like a website. ACK back to square one. i dunno what to do, there's gotta be a free way to do this...i dont even know where my brain is right now so i'm gonna stop.

i've started doing more shooting for my thesis project. here's one of the shots i'm really happy with. hm. i feel like i have plenty to say, but the words aren't quite there. i get so easily distracted by music when i'm trying to write, but i hate not listening to music or watching TV when i'm home; it gets way too quiet. living alone is very quiet, indeed. i saw some great friends this past week, it was really pretty fantastic. last saturday and tuesday were spent with people i love like family who i don't get to spend nearly enough time with (i should really look into making friends with more people who aren't professional touring musicians). because i spend so much of my time living in my personal bubble of school and work and solitary living, when i get to surround myself in such an atmosphere of warmth, i really get lost in it. wednesday was such a contrast to tuesday nights warm "bubble" that i was just...devastatingly depressed. it car...

i'd first like to say that i find it extraordinarily difficult to write while music is playing. right now, my music is turned just about as low as it can go; any lower and it's basically silent. even so, i feel the need to keep it playing, because moments without music are...very quiet. anyway, i'm annoyed. i'm annoyed with myself and i'm annoyed with others, but nobody in particular. first, i'm annoyed with myself for doing what i've done so many times before. just tonight i told the one guy that's visibly interested in me to basically lay off. i mean, i was much more eloquent and 100% honest as to why i was asking him to do so, but yeah. basically, once again, i shot down a perfectly nice guy, one who any other girl would be so lucky to have giving her the time of day. i do this a lot. first of all, when i met this fellow, i was hammered. this has little to do with anything, i just thought i'd mention it. when he sidled up to me at the bar a...