"Shower the people you love with love, show them the way that you feel." -James Taylor
This morning I received some awful, tragic, devastating
news. My younger sister’s good friend suddenly passed away on Tuesday. He was
27-years-old.
We’ve known Robert for years. He’s the younger brother of
someone I was very good friends with in high school and part of my sister’s
very tight knit crew. He had previously lived in NYC and recently moved to Los
Angeles to pursue a career in “the industry”. Prior to him moving to his new
apartment in Santa Monica, he was staying on our couch while he looked for a
place to live. He was an excellent house guest and always a pleasure to have
around.
I am so mad. I’m so goddamn angry about this. This isn’t supposed
to happen, 27-year-old men aren’t supposed to just NOT WAKE UP. Julia wasn’t
supposed to lose her younger brother when she’s got a son who needs an uncle.
His parents aren’t meant to bury their 2nd eldest child. Jesse is supposed to have an older brother to look up to. My sister
isn’t supposed to be mourning the loss of someone she went mini golfing with a
mere few weeks ago.
I am terrified. Robert wasn’t sick. He wasn’t a poster child
for healthy living but he certainly wasn’t self-destructive. He
was a normal 27-year-old man that was expected to be at work and when he didn’t
show up, his coworkers got worried. They found him in his apartment and he was
gone. The current C.O.D. is “natural causes”, but what could naturally cause a
healthy 27-year-old man to simply stop living??? This could happen to anyone. I
have healthy younger siblings. I, myself, am a healthy young woman. What if one
of us goes to bed one night and that’s the last time we ever go to bed because
we never wake up again? I hate this.
I’m numb. This doesn’t feel quite real.
I’m sad. This is the dictionary definition of tragic.
I’m devastated. I really really liked Robert and I’m really
bummed I’m not going to see him again.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT take the people you love for
granted. If you truly care about someone, tell them. If you have any positive
feelings of gratitude for the people in your life, let them know. Don’t wait
until tomorrow because there might not be a tomorrow. Tell the people you care
for that you care for them as often as you can in whichever way you can while
you can. Be present in every moment you have with these people. Go to bed every
night knowing that you treated your friends and loved ones with as much
gratitude as you could muster at the moment. I don’t know why tragedy occurs, but
I do know that not a single one of us is immune to it and we should all be
grateful for every non-tragic moment we have because that simple bliss may not
last forever.
And for fucks sake, do not be afraid to say I love you.
