the secret.

so awhile ago my dad made me watch this dvd called The Secret.
you know, like the book, The Secret.
it was done documentary style, like something you might come across on the History Channel (a channel i rather enjoy because i, as you may already know, am a nerd), so it really appealed to me. and you may also know that, while mostly pretty down to earth, i'm also pretty spiritual and New Age-y, probably under the influence of my pretty spiritual, New Age-y dad (the legendary Neil Rosenthal). anyway, so he made me watch this dvd because i was toootally stressin' about money, as i have done for all the years i've lived in NYC, and he was like "listen, it might seem a little weird and silly, but watch this and just pay close attention."

well, i did watch it (until i dozed off at the end, i was apparently very sleepy and my parents' couch is extremely comfortable) and i didn't think it was weird or silly. ok maybe a little weird but not bad weird, just...spiritual, New Age-y weird. in fact, the damn dvd changed my life. I KNOW, i know, heavy statement, but it totally did. basically, the whole thing is about the Law of Attraction. yeah, totally loopy, i know, but seriously, look into it. the underlying message was basically "stay posi." no lie. i'm serious. they may have actually said "stay posi" during the dvd.

no, they definitely didn't, but they should have as it would have pretty much summed up the entire thing in one little slang term.

ANYWAY, so, i watched The Secret and decided that my current M.O. obviously wasn't doing much for me, i.e. worrying, being cynical, not-so-posi, etc, and like Einstein said, true stupidity is doing the same thing over and over again, and expecting a different result...or something like that. so i decided i'd switch it up and change my ways: i was gonna stay posi. and honestly, i have! i feel like i'm a sunnier person, more pleasant to be around, generally a better gal overall. it definitely makes waking up and facing the day much easier, and i find i attract rather delightful people as a result.

WELL, this is all fine and good until it comes to me digging on some dude. then i turn into a total negative, doubtful, insecure piece of lame crappy crap.

all because he hasnt texted me back. ARE YOU SERIOUS?! what the hell is wrong with me. like really, get with it, woman, this is so not a big deal and not a reason to start questioning your self worth or second guessing everything you've said to him or anyone else in the past month. UGH! i am such a spazz! I HAVE TO REMEMBER THE SECRET! but its hard when you feel rejected...but for fuck's sake i'm totally overreacting and i KNOW it so why cant i snap out of it! i mean, here and there i feel ok but then i get all bummed out again and it blows. it totally blows and i'm trying to stop it but sometimes it just sneaks up on me and BAM! i feel like dogshit all over again. thumbs way down...i'm annoyed.

ok i'm done. p.s. go read/watch The Secret. it'll change your life.