L’Shanah Tovah! I might be a bad Jew and things have to change (Jew-related and otherwise)
I haven't blogged in over a year FIVE YEARS, so what better time to re-enter the Blog-o-sphere than during the (Jewish) New Year. Here we go...
My father was not pleased when he asked if I knew it was
Rosh Hashanah and I replied that I knew via Facebook. He then used this lack of
High Holy Day awareness as an example of my denial of my Jewish identity and a
reason for why unfortunate things happen to me. He was referring to my
iPhone being washed away in a freak El Nino wave accident that weekend, now last Saturday. I also
lost my wallet that day, having carelessly placed it on top of my friend’s car
before we drove away (update: it has since been recovered by the kind people of Laguna Beach and is being held at the police station!), and my rose quartz crystal the weekend before, and my
driver’s license the weekend before that. Suffice to say, weekends have not
been kind to me, due in no small part to my affinity for fire water, I’m sure.
I do not believe, however, that it has anything to do with my “lack of Jewish
identity”, considering that is ridiculous and I do not consider my failure to
participate in the organized religion and its associated holidays or traditions
to make me any less of a Jew, nor do I deny being one.
Anyway,
his words really struck a chord with me and I’ve decided to make more of an
effort to express my “Jewish identity”, or at the very least keep better track if
significant holidays so as to respect my father’s wishes. That being said,
we’re in the midst of the High Holy Days , the Jewish New Year. In recognition
of this change of season and new chapter, I’m setting some resolutions. This
summer has been kind of rough, my heart has been bruised more than a few times, I've been feeling very disconnected from true self,
and it’s time to make some changes. So here we go:
Save money. Dude. Seriously. The biggest culprit: DRINKING. What is my life, even?
Recognize the red flags and PAY ATTENTION TO THEM. Why do I always attract such broken men? Probably because in my heart of hearts, I want to fix them. I want to save them. Not to be a martyr, mind you, but just I like being there for people. I like being a pillar of strength where people have none. However, this does not always benefit me, ESPECIALLY romantically. I need to stop ignoring red flags, stop allowing broken or toxic people into my life, and STOP TRYING TO SAVE THEM.
Do more, see more, read more. Life is for living! I need more adventures, I want to see more things, and I 100% need to read more because reading is awesome and it keeps ya smart.
Treat my body like a temple, not a trash can. DUH.
Be more disciplined with my yoga practice. I've felt so disconnected this summer. It's as if after my yoga teacher training ended, instead of the fire burning bright, the flame slowly grew dimmer. I don't want to say it went out altogether, but it's certainly not burning as bright as I would thought it would. It makes me sad, and I know the only solution is to get back on my mat. This is proving a task harder than you'd think; in fact, I am currently writing this blog instead of going to the yoga class I was planning on going to. I am doing my best to not feel guilty about this and be kind to myself about the need to write and have a lazy morning (see: Resolution 1.)
TEACH YOGA. Um, hello? What was that training for? Go forth, change lives!
I'm sure I will come up with more resolutions as time goes on. What I really should do is get a white board or some sort of bulletin and put these things up so I can see them all the time. Hey, there's my next resolution: Get a bulletin board to post important reminders so I can see them every day.
I can totally do this, and so can you. If you're feeling at all lost, or disconnected, or like things need to change in a positive way, make the decision to change. It's that simple. If you need a little more of a push, maybe read The Power of NOW by Ekhart Tolle or snag a book or dvd copy of The Secret (that's my personal New Age drug of choice). Change is possible. Positive change is possible. It may seem daunting, but it is possible and I know this to be true because I've done it and I'm doing it and its available to everyone and it's FREE. Shift your perspective and see how it makes things better. Go ahead. The light in me sees and reflects the light in you, my friend. Namaste. L'chaim!
P.S. Yom Kippur begins next Tuesday night. REPENT REPENT REPENT! (or don't, it's really depressing. maybe just...promise to be better.)
